Anhedonia

Anhedonia is the failure or inability to experience pleasure. It is a significant symptom in clinical depression. I’ve experienced it before, and it’s not pleasant. Not being able to experience good feelings or any feelings makes you feel emotionally empty. Right now I’m feeling pretty ambivalent about some things that I used to care about a lot. I can’t call it anhedonia, it’s not that strong of an non-feeling. I used to really enjoy gardening and my flowerbeds were very attractive and my vegetables thrived. Right now the only thing that thrives in my yard is weeds. Everything is overgrown and bordering on ugly. And I just haven’t really cared a whole lot about it. It could be just the fatigue/lack of energy that keeps me from doing the things I used to. But I’ve been avoiding dealing with it because it’s gotten so out of control. Today was the first time I had to do the mowing myself (my son has gone off to college). That was a challenge in itself. The mower was not cooperating and kept stalling out. Let’s just say the lawn is less than half done. But I did get the new dog run hung, and that has waited to be done for at least a year. I’m certainly not in a hurry, that’s for sure.

Sometimes I worry the meds are making me unemotional or flat. Maybe that is why I don’t care about things that used to be important to me.

So I guess my feelings about gardening and yard work are no longer what they were. If this continues, I may need to go condo.

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