This week I am spending the majority of the work week at another of our business offices for clinical software training. Four whole days away from my home base, and it’s not a vacation. I’ve never considered a travelling job because I’m really a homebody. I like to nest or cocoon, curl up with my books or crocheting and be by myself. Not that I mind company or being with others, I just like to be at home, it’s my comfort zone. I’ve never been one who likes to party and carouse, I’m more of an introvert. I spend lots of time with people in my professional work, so I am somewhat protective of my time as well.
My therapist keeps trying to encourage me to get out of my comfort zone and be social. I do go out with friends and do things, but I think everyone has busy lives too. Maybe I’m missing out on something, but I’m ok with that. So for now, my temporary cocoon is a hotel room and I’m making do until I can get back home.
Having a major case of writer’s block lately. Perhaps because I have felt better? Certainly nothing wrong with feeling less depressed, now is there? Don’t know that I’d say happy quite yet, but don’t feel overwhelmingly sad. Even somewhat motivated I might say. Cleaning a little bit, planning for my son’s departure to college. That might be a downer though. I’m very excited for him finally achieving his dreams and looking forward to his new adventure. He’s earned this after all his hard work. It will be hard for me to see him go, but he’s not going too far. I just hope he’ll want to see me once in a while!
The new adventure/adjustment for me will be living alone. That is something I never really experienced. It will be just me and the animals. I won’t have anyone to answer to or be home for except the dogs. This will be interesting. I don’t know how I will handle this. I think I will be eating more cereal for dinner, no reason to cook!
Amazing that I am surrounded by people and feel so alone sometimes. Just not feeling connected, particularly after ending a long-term relationship about six months ago. I know the relationship wasn’t good for me, and I was lonely in the relationship, but I still miss that human touch. Probably more than anything else.
So, what is one to do? I am supposed to be more social, spend time with friends, etc. I just feel like someone should call me once in a while and see how I’m doing for a change. Only fair in a friendship, right? It is really hard to push myself to call friends.