Developing a Long Temper

I find that Depression can make me impatient, short, or ill-tempered at times. I just find the negative feelings bubble up to the surface so rapidly, like the froth on a just-poured glass of pop. And if the social filter isn’t ready, oooo, things can just spill forth. Unfortunately, I’ve also been witness to this in others. Funny, it’s easy to see it in others, but so hard to hold the mirror up to yourself.

So how does one become “long-tempered?” Seems a skill I should’ve learned along the way or something. I have great patience about some things. I listen to patients and families tell their stories all day long and maintain rapt attention(or at least I don’t look bored and I do listen well). Yet I find myself pretty edgy behind the wheel following a slow or inattentive driver impeding my progress. Rawwwr. Just GET OUT OF MY WAY! I get easily frustrated too when I’m treated like I don’t know what I’m doing or I don’t know anything. Nothing irks me more than lack of respect. And I don’t like to see others being disrespected either. Just not cool. So what should I be doing different? I am trying really hard to mind my business, keep my mouth shut and just do my job at work so I don’t get in trouble on that front, and so far, so good. It does get a little boring at times to stay in my little cubicle. But it’s safe in there.

What is the secret to not being easily irritated or angered by people or situations I find myself in? I can’t just stuff it all in, because one day I’ll just go off on someone, and it’s likely to be the wrong someone. I know it takes more than conscious breathing and counting to ten too. I actually met a nurse who tattooed “Breathe” on the inside of her wrist. I found this quite amusing, because as I got to know her, she was a bit high-strung and impatient. I suggested that perhaps she think about getting “Exhale” tattooed on the other wrist! Maybe a daily visual reminder is a good thing though. I am just trying to check myself before I blurt out anything that is reflective of my impatience or my temper. Perhaps it just means building a better social filter, and knowing who it is safe to let your guard down with…

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One response to “Developing a Long Temper

  1. Oh my, Jen, I DO know how you feel! I, too, am depressed and can feel myself being downright nasty at times. If you find a secret solution to this vexing problem, pa-leeze, let me know. I try to hold my tongue as much as possible but there are times that I let it go and feel awful afterwards. Or, I can feel myself getting worked up over the smallest of things and I don’t have a way to flick the “release” valve, like on my mom’s pressure cooker. In fact, that’s exactly how I feel at times-as if I’m in a pressure cooker!
    Thanks for the blogs. It’s amazing how I feel better after reading some of them. Just to know I am not alone is some how comforting. Keep on bloggin’!

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