Anniversaries

Wonder if he ever thinks about this day? We would have been married 21 years if he had been able to handle my Depression. Sadly, instead of supporting me in my darkest hour, he selfishly got involved with someone else. Looking back, perhaps our relationship would not have lasted because he has always been an essentially selfish person. But the trauma of how our relationship ended and the years of acrimony that followed have contributed to the chronicity of my illness and my negative attitude toward relationships.

I think by this time that dates should mean very little. I don’t really have any “feeling” about this particular date. Although I truly don’t appreciate that he chose to have his second marriage on the 31st of December either. He is just that selfish and insensitive. Just like I don’t really think about his birthday or any other date. It just happens that so many negative things have occurred around the Christmas/New Year holidays. We split up at this time of year too.

What I do recognize and acknowledge regularly is that something very special came of those circumstances. I am blessed with a son, who is now maturing into a young man. He has been my challenge and delight, and I love him more than anything. So regardless of any bad memories or emotional pain I have suffered, I know that my son was part of the plan. And I can celebrate that.

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3 responses to “Anniversaries

  1. Although I’m terribly sorry your ex was not supportive of you in your deepest tme of need, I’m so proud of you and your ability to see the wonderful blessing that came out of your marriage. So often depression robs us of even being able to see and appreciate the good in our lives, so I take it as a very positive step for you to be able to do this. God is healing you more and more each day, and I am so glad. I pray that as you think about this new year, that it truly will be a HAPPY one! Love to you and yours, Brenda

  2. Yes…Cam has been a pain in the butt…but also a huge blessing!!! Love ya!!

  3. You have always been a blessing to me, Jen, and the continuation of your blessing in Cameron. He is a wonderful young man and I’m so proud of him. I know this is very hard to do, writing all this, but I’m very sure you are going to survive, cope, and excel! Love you so much!!!

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