Well, today I took a big step and told my supervisor at my new job about my Depression. She was pretty cool about it and asked if everything was ok, and if there was anything she could do. I explained this was a longstanding issue and nothing new. Also that I was on top of it and getting help was part of staying healthy. And that it had a big genetic component as well.
What initiated the conversation was I had to schedule an early therapy appointment, so I was going to be late for work. I texted my boss to let her know, and she asked if the appointment was regarding work. Without even thinking, I texted back that no, I had a therapist appointment. Oops, probably not the best way to handle things. Who the heck texts the boss to tell them they are seeing a shrink????
Well we caught up later in the day and she was really nice about it. I’m just crazy paranoid after previous job experiences like the one where I got written up for going to the doctor. Yep, you read that right. When else are you supposed to go when they work business hours too? So I’m out to my boss, and she and I had a brief discussion about treatment, counseling and medication. We also talked about dysfunctional families and how common they really are. We are all dealing with something was the conclusion for both of us. And I did get some praise about how well I’m doing at my job. That always helps when you get positive feedback. Particularly after therapy.
So I felt kind of relieved. At least it’s out in the open in the event I have any future problems with job performance or “negative attitude.” I can at least say we have discussed my disability and my boss is aware of it. Just in case. Guess you can tell I’ve been traumatized before in the workplace while dealing with Depression. Now I know I have rights because Depression is a chronic illness. Discrimination is no more appropriate than if I had heart disease or diabetes.
I won’t be scheduling anymore morning therapy appointments though. My butt has been dragging all day…it’s just so emotionally draining and hard to focus afterwards, plus I look like hell after crying.